Muddle Through Mummy

What TO say to someone with postnatal depression Following my reel about what NOT to say, I thought I should probably follow up with some ideas of what to do/say, as someone who has dealt with postnatal depression myself (but I am not a postnatal health care professional). Honestly, most of the time, I really didn’t want to talk about heavy stuff so just being around people who felt light and positive was medicine enough for my weary soul. I desperately missed company. Having friends come over to hang out, keep me company and just hold space for me when I needed it was key. I felt that I missed out on invitations to do things because people assumed I wouldn’t want to or couldn’t come now I had a baby and that made my feelings of isolation worse. Sometimes just being asked is enough. Saying “hey, want to get together and order pizza for the kids lunch and we can brainstorm about meal planning while they play” is such a lovely offer of both company and practical support. Becoming a new mum is overwhelming without all the usual household tasks and feeling accomplished and less alone would definetly have helped. I will say though, depression is a funny one (not haha funny!) because I didn’t want to be a burden so actually accepting help when it was offered was tricky. Sometimes people just taking action and showing up for me was necessary and really helped but it is a fine line between being supportive in that way and overstepping boundaries, so checking in regularly to make sure you’re not doing that is vital. The most important thing for me was to feel seen, heard and not so alone; having someone acknoledge “yeah this sh*t is HARD, I’ll make you a cuppa”. Saying things like “soak it in” or “enjoy it” to someone in the throws of PND only adds to feelings of guilt they are probably already struggling with. It’s not easy to know how to navigate things when someone you care about is going through Postnatal Depression but please be patient with them and don’t give up on them. #PostnatalDepression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #NewMum #MumLife #Postnatal #FourthTrimester #PND #MumFriends

Belgium doesn’t have a May half term so its a good budget friendly alternative to Centre Parcs in the UK which was looking like £2,500+ for just 4 nights! This is a family holiday which I have paid for but I’m choosing to share because its the type of content I think you guys enjoy & will hopefully find interesting and/or useful #familytravel #travellingwithkids #mumhack #familyholiday #budgettravel #centreparcs

32 slices for just £4.69! Cake cutting hack 🍰 Save this for your next kids party #kidsparty #hack #mumhack #toddlermum #birthdayparty #birthdaycake #cake

How to cut your grocery spend using the FREE @SnoopApp (ad) to help you track your spending, set budgets, cut your bills & control your finances. It’s 🔗 in my bi0! I recently shared that my family of 4 budgets £500 a month on groceries & the overwhelming response was HOW so I wanted to share to this question… The first place to start is to see how much you’re currently spending, which you can do using the free Snoop app. This is really handy because it categorises your spending by category and if you’re a two person household or spend across more than one bank account or credit card, you can easily see all that info in one place. Simply flick through the groceries category for the last few months for a really clear picture of what your groceries spend is. You can also create your own custom spending report; look at ‘merchants’ and see where you spend the most on groceries and if you could save more by shopping elsewhere. Snoop will also provide you with personalised discounts based on where you currently spend so that’s an extra little money-saving tip! Then you’ve GOT TO meal plan so you’re not buying more than you need and letting food go to waste. We drastically cut our shopping bill by cutting back on the amount of meat-based meals we included. We also reserve snacks in packets for day trips because they’re one of the most expensive things to buy when you’ve got kids. Use your freezer - it’s such an underutilised appliance for saving money! Not only because most of the time frozen fruit and veg is cheaper than fresh but did you know you can also freeze things like butter, nuts, herbs and even eggs so you can take advantage of when things are discounted! Let me know your money-saving tips for cutting grocery spend in the comments. I’m sure others will find it really useful. #foodwaste #savemoney #budgeting #familymeals #groceryshopping #foodshopping #mumhack

If you want to get your spending under control you need to try this free app AD I use a FREE budgeting app to track our family spending, bills & so much more, it definitely makes me feel more in control. I have use @SnoopApp for 3 years now & love it. It only sees your transactions in ‘read only’ so its totally safe to use ♥️ I’m usually really on it when it comes to managing our budget & find Snoop keeps me on track because I can see in real time exactly where we are with things & when we need to rein it in. Seeing where your money is going can be daunting but its the first step in knowing where and how to cut back. #spending #budget #budgeting #familybudget #money #savingmoney #moneytips #monthlybudget #fyp

Towel ➡️ bag folding hack I had to remake this viral summer hack. I shared this a year ago & 8.2 million people went crazy for it! #foldinghacks #beach #swimming #organised #mumhacks #Summer

Dancing for my life 😅 how’d I do? #dancechallenge #dancetrend #trend #mumlife #bedtimeroutine

Basic budgeting lessons with my 5 year old #spendingchallenge #kidschallengewithparents #activityforkids #mumsoftiktok #familyvlog

Our current favourite after school activity - I promised a more in depth tutorial of how to make these cool paper planes so here you go! #boymum #afterschool #activityforkids #indooractivities #paperplane #mumhack #summerholidays

Tell me you’re the second child without telling me… we’re off to a film premiere! Can you guess which film? #transition #FamilyFun #fyp

Foul play or funniest bouquet throw ever? @Maddy is an absolute 10/10 iconic wedding guest, highly recommend inviting her to all your family events 😂 Did you spot me at the start? #wedding #funny #netball #tall #fyp @Matthew and Ryan

How well do I know my kids? Basically 1.5 mins of my kids taking the absolute mick out of me #challenge #kidschallengewithparents #trend #boymum #funny #kidssaythefunniestthings

My second child is such a funny little character, you don’t get to see alot of him on here because he often isn’t interested in filming so I never push him but when he said he wanted to do this challenge with me I couldn’t say no! #kidschallengewithparents #boymum #challenge #mumofboys #toddlermum #funny #kidssaythefunniestthings

What NOT to say to someone with postnatal depression I’ve been very open about my PND experience and how I still deal with intrusive thoughts to this day, following the birth of my eldest son. Sometimes its really difficult to know what to say to someone who’s struggling with their mental health – and some from the older generations kind of scoff at it all together. But having been through it first hand, please DON’T say these things. Regardless of how good your intentions are. And if you want me to give some ‘DO’ suggestions of what I found comforting to hear, let me know in the comments. #postnataldepression #anxiety #MentalHealth #newmum #mumlife #postnatal

Day 1 vlog at Center Parcs De Haan in Belgium - this is our family holiday, which I paid just over £1,110 for (6 nights) compared to £2.5K+ which I was quoted for just 4 nights at Longleat so I’m intrigued how it compares & thought you might want to see our experience too! #familytravel #travelvlog #travellingwithkids #familytrip #familyholiday #centreparcs #belgium #budgettravel #dayinmylife #familyvlog

Deep cleaning my bedroom 🫧 (I’m reuploading this one as made a mistake and wanted to correct that for you so no one else does the same thing ♥️) #deepclean #speedclean #cleaningmotivation #satisfyingvideo #longervideos

Is that really the only 3 letter adjective we can use? Or are ALL first reader books just really outdated? #mumlife #reading #learningtoread #fat #language #teachersoftiktok #answer

My favourite, his favourite challenge #marriedlife #husbandandwife #questions #trend #fyp

Send me all the sandwich-free lunchbox ideas… From September I’ll be making them every weekday 😅 #lunchbox #packedlunch #lunchboxideas #sandwichfree #whatmykideats #EasyRecipe #mumhack

Get organised with me ✅ #comforting #motivation #cleaningmotivation #satisfying #cleanwithme #longervideos #organisation