Mat & Ash

#ad This is definitely a red flag in relationships and needs to be addressed. Do not fall for the bate of arguing about word choice, exact definitions and fact checking. Instead bring light to this being a deflection from the original topic. The only way this dynamic can be healed and repaired is if the person with unhealed judgment wounds becomes aware of them, sees this as a defense mechanism and is motivated to heal and repair the relationship. Most of the time people who do this are completely unaware they are even deflecting. It’s subconscious. Awareness is everything. The Inner Work of Relationships can help, but only for couples and individuals who are actually ready to look at themselves and takd accountability for the unhealthy dynamics they bring into the relationship. #couplestherapy #theinnerworkofrelationships #marriageproblems #couplescounseling #marriageadvice #marriagetherapy #husbandwife #redflagsinrelationships #couplestips #relationshipadvice

#ad 📖 The Inner Work of Relationships is available now in our Tiktok Shop! PRIMARY EMOTION: Hopelessness TRIGGER: Inability to cope and overwhelm ROOT PROGRAM: What’s the point? TRAUMAS: Age-inappropriate responsibilities, abuse, life-altering loss/change, overwhelming circumstances, compounded negative consequences, poverty UNMET INNER CHILD NEEDS: Feeling supported DEFENSE MECHANISM OVERCOMPENSATING: Refuse to ask for help, Saying “yes” when they don’t have the capacity, denial of limits, self-sacrificing, malnourishment DEFENSE MECHANISM UNDERCOMPENSATING: Depression, Dissociation disorders, detachment, isolation, anxiety, PTSD, paralysis, numbness COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS: Constant arguing over the stresses of life, one partner feeling like they have to do everything, one partner being depressed and apathetic, exhausting shared life circumstances, extreme financial struggles and debt, difficulty co-parenting, struggling to get by and make ends meet #theinnerworkofrelationships #theinnerwork #theinnerworkalbum #relationshipproblems #redagsinrelationships #marriageproblems #husbandwife #marriagecounseling #relationshipadvice #relationshiphealing #consciousrelationships #relationshiptips #couplescounseling #couplestherapy

#ad You can get a copy of The Inner Work of Relationships in our tiktok shop! #marriage #marriedcouple #couplestherapy #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplesadvice #marriageadvice #marriageadviceformen #marriageadviceforwomen #relationshipproblems #healthyrelationships #consciouscommunication #husbandwife #defensivehusband #couplesgoals #relationships #marriagelife

#ad Obviously true love requires you to like and respect the people you love, but what people often “call” love often is similar to “putting up with” their spouse out of complacency. Kinda like putting up with a family member that you say you love because they are family but you don’t really like or respect. Of course this isn’t genuine love, but it’s the bits and crumbs that many people have settled for and is the unfortunate situation a lot of people in our comments are finding themselves in. We want to make it clear that no amount of effort can make someone like you or want you. If your partner wants to be in a relationship with you, they are going to care about your needs, listen to your feedback, take interest in your interests, which includes your interest in inner work and working on your relationship together. Period. And everyone deserves to be with someone who loves, adores, cherish, respects and likes them. But as hard as it is, it’s important to recognize when you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t and has no interest of repairing that. #marriage #couplescounseling #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplestherapy #redflags #relationshipproblems #CommunicationinRelationships #marriageadvice #couplescoaching #relationshipgoals #greenflagsinrelationships #redagsinrelationships #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #longdistancerelationship #marriagecounseling

#ad The wound of distrust can manifest in various ways beyond just fidelity in relationships. To learn more about healing trust issues with your partner, read The Inner Work of Relationships! 📕📖 Available now in our Tiktok shop! #theinnerworkbook #theinnerworkofrelationships #trustissues #trustinrelationships #couplesproblems #trustwounds #trustwounds #marriagefinances #marriagecounseling #marriagemoneyproblems #relationshipfinances #couplestherapy

#ad This is how to validate your partner’s emotions. Focus on feelings not details or facts. Learning to have empathy for our partners feelings can be practiced by focusing not on “why” they feel what they feel, but by focusing on the feeling itself and empathizing with our own experiences of having similar emotions, regardless of the circumstance. When partners get too caught up in the details or facts, they miss the point, which is an emotional experience. 📖 More on this is discussed in The Inner Work of Relationships book, specifically in the wound if loss chapter which focuses on feeling our emotions in a healthy way and how we can support our partner in their emotional processes with empathy and compassion. #theinnerworkbook #theinnerworkofrelationships #empathy #validatingemotions #relationshipgreenflags #healthyrelationships #validationneeded #validatingyourpartner #consciousrelationships #marriage #couplesproblems #happymarriage #relationshipgoals #husbandwife #couplescounseling

#ad 📖 The Inner Work of Relationships id available now in our Tiktok shop! To heal the wound of distrust, it is crucial to embrace life's uncertainties and trust in our resilience together. This means believing in our ability to handle whatever comes our way. When both partners possess this level of self-esteem and self-trust, we can extend genuine trust to each other, confident in each other’s character and resilience despite life’s trials. Such a foundation of trust ensures that the relationship can enjoy a sense of certainty in the reliability of each partner's character, commitment, and dedication. This mutual understanding and capability forge a profound loyalty, reinforcing the notion that no matter what challenges arise— unintentional hurts, losses, or mistakes—we will support and work through them together. It is this assurance, this unshakeable belief in each other's support and commitment, that forms the bedrock of a truly trusting and loyal relationship. #trustissuesinrelationships #trustwounds #theinnerworkofrelationships #traumabonding #infidelityinamarriage #infidelityrecovery #healingrelationships #relationshiptips #redflagsinrelationships #couplescounseling #relationshiptips #traumabond #couplestherapy

#ad Couples breakthrough using The Inner Work of Relationships book. 📖Available now in our tiktok shop! #theinnerworkofrelationships #relationshipadvice #couplestherapy #couplescounseling #relationshipproblems #marriagecounseling #marriageadvice #healthyrelationships #consciouscommunication #communication #communicationinrelationships #marriagetips #greenflagsinarelationship #couplesgoals #relationshipgoals

Oh the emotions of pregnancy… 🥹❤️😅 I’m very grateful to have such a supportive partner. I’ve been really lucky to not have very many symptoms except just being tired and sensitive. But anytime I need extra support, rest, or a food craving, Mat is on it. He has been so loving, caring, patient, and gentle with me. I can’t wait to see him as a father. ❤️🥹 #husbandwife #married #pregnantlife #pregnanttiktok #pregnancytiktok #couplesgoals #relationshipgoals #pregnantcheck

Replying to @user695800 #marriageproblems #couplestherapy #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplescounseling #marriageproblems #neurodivergentcouple #marriageadvice #marriagetherapy #husbandwife #redflagsinrelationships #couplesproblems #marriedlife #therapy #marriage #relationshiptips

#ad The Wound of Judgment can manifest in various ways in your relationship. Here are some practical examples that might resonate with you: Overcritical Behavior: Do you or your partner often find yourselves nitpicking, criticizing, or constantly seeking perfection in each other? Alternatively, have you or your partner ever expressed concerns about feeling scrutinized or judged, even when the other person assures you that they aren't passing judgment? Conditional Love: Consider whether love in your relationship sometimes feels conditional and can instantly go cold. Is love withdrawn or reduced when either of you makes a mistake or isn’t living up to the other’s expectations? Fear of Making Mistakes: Is there a pervasive fear of making even minor mistakes in your relationship? Do you or your partner react strongly to perceived errors? People-Pleasing: Do you or your partner frequently go to great lengths to please the other, even if it compromises your own needs and desires? 📖 To start healing this wound together read The Inner Work of Relationships book, available now in our tiktok shop! #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplestherapy #marriageproblems #couplescounseling #marriageadvice #husbandwife #redflagsinrelationships #redflagsinrelationships #couplesproblems #marriage #relationshiptips #couplestips

#ad 📖 The Inner Work of Relationships is available now in our tiktok shop! #marriage #theinnerworkbook #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplesadvice #passiveagressive #angerissues #marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #consciouscommunication #healthyrelationships #defensivehusband #husbandwife #defensivewife #relationships #couplescounseling #communicationtips #traumahealing #relationshipcoach

#ad 📖 The Inner Work Relationships book is available now on our tiktok shop! ♥ Couples who often find themselves trapped in repetitive arguments are largely unaware that the surface issues they argue about are mere distractions from deeper, unhealed wounds. ♥ Practicing The Inner Work together is what finally shines the light of awareness on our shadows, revealing a thread of connection between surface-level triggers, deep root program beliefs, and ultimately, our theme of consciousness. ♥ Interdependence achieves an equilibrium between autonomy and dependence on another person, requiring mutual respect for personal boundaries and healthy reliance on one another. ♥ Dysfunctional relationship patterns are not only predictable, but they can be healed and amended because they are simply the coping mechanisms of a wounded inner child and a lack of relationship skills that we just weren’t taught. ♥ Courageous individuals who confront their pain with humility and who are able to recognize the unhealthy patterns within their own behavior become agents of change. ♥ Recognizing the specific nature of your partner's wounds enables you to adopt behaviors and communication styles that heal rather than harm. ♥ Awareness of your partner's inner child wounds presents a unique opportunity to significantly aid their healing and self-development journey. ♥ While not solely responsible for your partner's emotional well-being, being a supportive, understanding, and compassionate companion is crucial. ♥ Emotional wounds and psychological trauma need just as much compassion, support, and empathy as physical wounds. Healing takes time, and there will be setbacks. The support of a loving partner is essential. ♥ Uncovering our own emotional patterns is empowering because, with awareness of them, we can consciously choose to self-edit, change, or replace them entirely. #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplescounseling #redflagsinrelationships #codependency #marriageproblems #relationshiptips #husbandwife #couplestherapy #marriage #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice

“While it may initially seem necessary to fully heal ourselves before entering a new relationship, our partner actually plays a crucial role in our healing journey. Past traumas can lie deeply embedded in our unconscious, surfacing only when triggered by interactions with others, especially our partner. Through these triggering moments, we can get the opportunity to uncover and address our wounded inner child beliefs that present themselves for our examination.  Every healthy couple has been faced with the temptation to quit on each other. But rather than surrendering the relationship, they chose to surrender their egos instead. With our partner’s support, we can have a safe environment to observe our triggers, thoughts, emotions, and reactions, gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves and the subconscious patterns that drive us. However, it’s essential to discern the fine line between growing together through life’s struggles versus becoming ensnared in a destructive, toxic dynamic. A couple in a trauma bond stays together out of fear, dependency, and shared painful experiences, cyclically reenacting destructive patterns without any sincere effort to heal or mend. In contrast, a couple who forms a healing bond through the challenging seasons of life will become more self-aware of their unhealthy patterns and committed to nurturing each other’s well-being while actively working on improving themselves within the relationship. This is the difference of couples who do The Inner Work. Wounded relationships can be healed as long as two people are willing to do their part in reparations. Healthy relationships are not found; they are created.” -Excerpts from The Inner Work of Relationships @The Inner Work 📖 Available now on our Instagram shop and Amazon! #theinnerworkofrelationships #relationdhipgoals #consciousrelationships #couplesadvice #couplestips #relationshiptips #healthyrelationships #couplescounseling #marriage #datingadvice #relationshipproblems #datingadvice #couplestherapy

#ad Qualities of healthy conscious relationships. 📖 The Inner Work of Relationships book is available in our tiktok shop! #relationshipgreenflags #healthyrelationships #theinnerworkofrelationships #couplesgoals #consciousrelationships #healthyrelationshiptips #happycouplegoals #happycouples #happymarriedlife #happymarriage #relationshipgoals #marriage #datinggreenflags

#ad The Inner Work of Relationships authors react to Married at First Sight. 📖 The Inner Work of Relationships is available now on our Tiktok Shop! #marriedatfirstsight #genuineapology #insecureattachment #insecurity #trustwounds #trustissuesinrelationships #marriage #marriagecounseling #couplestherapy #realitytv #theinnerworkofrelationships #traumabonding #healingrelationships #relationshiptips #redflagsinrelationships #couplescounseling #greenflagsinrelationships

#ad Getting a “buy in” before difficult conversations. From our book “The Inner Work of Relationships” available now on tiktok shop! #relationshipproblems #marriageproblems #consciousrelationships #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #healthyrelationships #couplesadvice #couplescounseling #marriage #datingadvice #couplestherapy

#ad Sorry for the loud breathing 🙈 I sound like darth vader since being so pregnant and tried so hard to contain my loud breathing but it is what it is. #relationshipcheckin #greenflagsinrelationships #relationships #theinnerworkofrelationships #theinnerworkbook #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #couplesadvice #couplescounseling #marriage #datingadvice #relationshiptips #consciouscommunication #marriagegoals