MoMo

Replying to @Hanax same my friend. Same. I was 12 when I left Aotearoa. My young heart was full of love for the Spice Girls, the smell of fresh rain, and lofty dreams of being a creator for my “big girl job”. Over the next 25 years… life happened. The good, bad, and ugly. The first heartbreak. Witnessing terrorist attacks on TV during choir class. Abusive relationships. First jobs and exciting first paychecks. Bad jobs with worse bosses. A corrupt government and legal system. Wars raging around the world. Finally finding my incredible man. Realizing even with the truest love, marriage is still really f**king hard. Bringing 5 beautiful children into the world. Losing one. The absolutely mind fu*kery of hormones and extreme body changes with every recovery. My first dance with true depression. Reigniting the dream of being a creator. The unrelenting doubt that accompanies that profession. Back and forth. Ecstasy and turmoil. Comfort and growth. The ebb and flow. A war waged inside me… but… it wasn’t the darkness or pain, there’s necessary growth to be had in those moments. Some of the best art, the most humanity, can be found in those dark parts. No… the war I waged was with another foe. One without a face. Without emotion. Constantly threatening to wash ALL of it with a tsunami of apathy. Apathy is my nemesis. The reason I had planned to take my own life under the guise that “nothing mattered anymore”. And to be honest… There were long periods of time where I couldn’t see how I could possibly win. ——————————————— So when I returned home to Aotearoa, I was challenged. I was asked, “With what heart do I return with?” A heart full of hate? Or a heart full of hope? Did I let apathy win? Did I let it fill my young heart with hopelessness? Is there a war raging inside of me that is waiting to be released in the worst way? No. I CHOOSE peace. I choose it every sunrise, and with every sunset. I choose to carry hope in my heart, creation in my action, laughter on my voice, mana in my bones and the teachings of my tipuna on my mind. I will NEVER forget this. 🖤 Nga mihi whānau, you changed me. #maori #ka#maoria#kaihakakapahakahibition #Homecoming

Maaaaaa ur embarrassing me in front of the ancestors #māori #mama

Women are seriously the coolest. #internationalwomensday

And that’s on ✨healing✨